| Nature/Nurture |
[Aug. 30th, 2006|07:07 pm] |
Control. We all want to feel some semblance of it in out lives and in the lives of our children. So, when arguing the nature versus nurture debate, when we argue on the side of nature we inevitably concede that the majority of the control is not in our hands. I think that this is a very disconcerting idea to many, especially those who take child rearing very seriously (as it should be).
It is a sensitive topic and one that is hard to separate mind from heart. I WANT to feel and know that I am the most important influence in my child's life. I WANT to feel that all I do for my children and sacrfice so that they may benefit, has some lasting and deep impact. However, even if you suscribe to the generally accepted view that at least 50% of our personality etc., is determined at birth, that only leaves you with a mere 50% to work with, right? Then add in the influence of peers, extended family, media etc., and you are inevitably left feeling quite insignificant. Now, no mother (or parent for that matter) wants to feel that way. What a SCARY thought. Why bother, right? Well, I think that we bother because even if we really only end up influencing a small percentage of their being, it is the MOST important part that we impact the most. The emotional stability, integrity and empathy that children are NOT born with. It has been proven that children are not born with a conscience, that it must be developed and nurtured by the child's closest attachments. What is a person without a conscience? Without empathy? They are less than what we like to consider human. So, as parents, we DO have an impact. We take this bundle of neurons, blood and bone and shape it into a caring, compassionate and inquisituve HUMAN BEING...... |
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